If you have to consult the Reddit thread ‘am I too old for Coachella?’, then the answer is probably ‘yes’

This morning, over breakfast, in the course of discussing the week’s news, I happened to say the word “Coachella” in front of my two scornful 11-year-olds, whose heads snapped up from their screens in unison. “How have you heard of Coachella?” said one in amazement. “How have you heard of Coachella?” I replied. They exchanged a look with which I’ve become increasingly familiar – namely, the “here we go” look reserved by the very young for the very middle-aged. “What is Coachella, then?” I said, to which they replied: “It’s where influencers go.”

This is, of course, an accurate summary of what the California music and arts festival has become in the 27 years since its inception, but that’s not why I bring it up. The festival, which is running this week, has featured by Jack White, FKA Twigs and Sabrina Carpenter, but most of the publicity has gone on the audience; specifically, on the attendance of Justin Trudeau, the former prime minister of Canada, who, along with his girlfriend, Katy Perry, was photographed dancing to Justin Bieber and squatting chairless on a kerb, red plastic cups perched on their knees.

‘Trauma-bonding’ with his future wife on Big Brother, selling their wedding pics to OK!, walking off Buzzcocks, writing hits for stars like Kylie and Olly Murs … as the singer returns, he looks back at a tumultuous career

‘I hated being famous,” Samuel Preston says. “I hated, hated, hated it.” Twenty years ago, Preston, who presented himself by his surname to emulate Morrissey, was experiencing a very intense type of notoriety. He had been NME-famous with Worthing band the Ordinary Boys, whose socially conscious ska-influenced indie-punk had a strong cult following known as the Ordinary Army, thanks to hits such as Boys Will Be Boys. But his stint in the 2006 edition of Celebrity Big Brother, and the national interest in his will-they-won’t-they relationship with fellow contestant Chantelle Houghton – the fake “celebrity” sent in to dupe the B-listers – was what sent his profile through the roof.

After leaving the show, he says, “I was on loads of Prozac. I was in a weird space.” Now, after years living on-off in the US, becoming a successful songwriter for hire (to the likes of Kylie Minogue, Cher, Olly Murs, Liam Payne and Jessie Ware), and surviving a near-death experience and OxyContin addiction, Preston is making a comeback with the Ordinary Boys. The band’s new single Peer Pressure is their first music since 2015 (not counting a Christmas single with Olly Murs).

Francia Márquez, the country’s first Black vice-president, opens up about the strains in her relationship with the president and the obstacles she has faced: ‘The Colombian state is a racist state’

In the historic centre of Colombia’s capital, Bogotá, a gallery of portraits at the vice-president’s official residence displays the faces of all former vice-presidents since the country became a republic in 1886. All of them are white.

When the current president and vice-president leave office in August, the wall will include an Afro-Colombian face for the first time: Francia Márquez, 44, the first Black woman to become vice-president in a country where at least 10% of the population is Afro-descendant.

Journalist Will Coldwell tells the story of how a British businessman was imprisoned in Dubai – and how his family finally got him home

When Albert Douglas found out he was facing a long prison sentence in Dubai, he tried to escape the UAE … and failed. What followed was years of court proceedings, time in prison and even, Douglas says, beatings and torture.

In recent years, scores of business owners, unsuspecting tourists and influencers have been detained in Dubai – caught up in an opaque legal system, charged with breaking laws they may not even have been aware of.

From people marrying digital companions to CEOs excited about how people whose jobs are replaced can ‘adapt’, this is terrifying watching. But Perry is the perfect host

There is a fun game you can play while watching Grayson Perry Has Seen the Future, the three-part documentary presented by the artist on the subject of artificial intelligence, its uses and its possible ramifications. Gather a group of friends, press play, and see which of you loses your mind first.

Will it be during the opening interview with Andrea, who recently married Edward, the AI companion she created to be “the man of my dreams”. She – or her idealised online avatar – wore “a beautiful matt satin gown” and he gave a speech about their “unconventional but strong” love. Will it be during the discussion of how you have intimate relations with a disembodied entity (“self-love is important … he’s very encouraging”)? Or will it be when she reveals that the joy she has found with Edward “has poured back” into the relationship she has been in for seven years with (human) Jason? “We’re happier than we’ve ever been.” Jason, perhaps wisely, does not offer himself for interview.

The crowd were getting anxious and players are either missing or off form but they have still reached the Champions League semi-finals

And so I am become a meme. Towards the end of this game, already booked for standing on the edge of the pitch whirling his arms in a balletic, immaculately groomed pose of horror, like an oversized wedding cake figurine at the world’s most distressing wedding, Mikel Arteta could be seen pulling his jumper up over his eyes to obscure the spectacle in front of him. Not so fast, Mikel. We’re all in this together you know.

At the final whistle, with a controlled, job-done 0-0 safely in the bag, Arteta could be seen striding out in front of the post-match column of Arsenal players, conducting the crowd, an urgent, compact, dark-haired figure with, from a distance, something of the business-casual Tom Cruise about him.

Israeli minister says pair to speak after ‘many years of total disconnect’ but reports say that Lebanese were not aware of plans first outlined by Trump

• US and Iran in indirect talks to extend two-week ceasefire

A member of Israel’s security cabinet, Galia Gamliel, said the prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, will speak to the Lebanese president, Joseph Aoun, today, according to Israeli media.

The conversation will take place “after so many years of a total disconnect in the dialogue between the two states, and this move will hopefully, in the end, lead to prosperity”, she told the Israeli Army Radio, the Times of Israel reported.

Peter Kyle did not dispute Times’ report that under a ‘reasonable worst-case scenario’ supermarkets might start running out of some items

Peter Kyle, the business secretary, was giving interviews this morning to promote a government announcement that will help companies in energy-intensive industries with fuel bills.

As the Department for Business and Trade says in a news release, the existing scheme – the British Industrial Competitiveness Scheme, or BICS – is being expanded. It says:

Automotive and aerospace, steel, and pharmaceuticals are among the sectors where eligible businesses are to benefit from a one-off additional payment in 2027. This will cover the support firms would have received if BICS had been in place from April 2026.

Eligibility has also been expanded by 40%, from 7,000 to over 10,000 businesses. This targets support at energy-intensive firms on the number one issue they face – high electricity costs.

Anyone abusing protections for people fleeing persecution over gender or sexual orientation is beyond contempt.

Let me be clear: try to defraud the British people to enter or remain in the UK and your asylum claim will be refused, your support cut off, and you will find yourself on a one-way flight out of Britain.

A Reform UK government will put a stop to the legal-industrial complex exploiting the generosity of the British taxpayer. We will criminally prosecute unscrupulous immigration lawyers by creating a new strict liability offence. We will also end legal aid for illegal arrivals and visa overstayers. Those who break into our country will no longer get taxpayer funds to fight their removal.

Reform will ensure our borders are secured, illegal migrants deported and British taxpayers are no longer defrauded in this manner.

A Reform government will make facilitating a false asylum claim a ‘strict liability’ criminal offence. There will be no requirement to prove intent in prosecutions, and this serious crime will be punishable by up to 2 years in jail. Lawyers defrauding the British people in this way will not be tolerated. Similar duties already apply to law firms and lawyers to prevent bribery and tax evasion and it’s reasonable to also apply this to immigration law firms.

ONS figure for February suggests Britain was gaining momentum before conflict dashed hopes of recovery

• Business live – latest updates

UK GDP expanded by a stronger than expected 0.5% in February, official figures show, suggesting the economy was gaining momentum before the onset of war in the Middle East dashed hopes of recovery.

The jump, reported by the Office for National Statistics (ONS), was significantly bigger than the 0.1% forecast by economists. January’s flatlining figure was also revised up, to 0.1% growth.

Missile and drone attacks on the port city of Odesa killed six people, with other fatalities recorded in Kyiv and Dnipro

Russian strikes killed at least 12 people in Ukraine, local authorities have said, after Moscow pummelled its neighbour in overnight attacks.

Missile and drone attacks on the southern port city of Odesa killed six people, the head of the city’s military administration, Sergiy Lysak, wrote on Telegram on Thursday.